Book Review: My Darling Girl by Jennifer McMahon

Alison O’Conner survived an abusive childhood to become an author-illustrator with a bestselling book, a loving husband, and two thriving daughters. Her husband Mark is obsessed with Christmas, which Alison indulges because it makes her feel like a normal person in the exact kind of normal family Mark himself grew up in. Their teenage daughter Izzy has just entered her rebellious phase, shutting out the mom she was once so close to, while their younger daughter Olivia is six and totally mad about ballet.

When Alison gets a phone call telling her that her own mother, renowned artist Mavis Eldeen Holland, has only weeks left to live, she isn’t sure whether this isn’t one of Mavis’ personal assistant’s periodic attempts to reconcile the two. Paul means well, but Mavis has held Alison at arms’ length ever since Alison was old enough to leave home and escape the abuse Mavis inflicted on her. But a visit to the hospital shows her that her mother really is dying:

Part of me wished I could backpedal, scramble out of the room, pretend I’d never gotten the call from Paul. But another part of me longed to be there, to make my mother see that I would do anything for her. To show her that I’d forgiven her for the terrors of my childhood.

 

I remembered all the times, when she was drunk and angry, that she’d called me a worthless girl. Maybe I was there to prove I wasn’t so worthless.

 

If she acknowledged I was worthy, would that deep feeling of worthlessness inside me stop sucking everything up like a black hole? It was what any therapist worth their salt might say.

It’s in this frame of mind that Alison agrees to let Mavis live out her last days in the O’Conner home. Everyone else in her family is suitably wary. Mark knows about the abuse but is willing to go along with Alison’s assessment of the current situation. Izzy and Olivia are mostly confused about the sudden presence of a grandmother who’s shown very little interest in them to date, but adapt easily enough to her moving in. Alison is actually taken aback by how quickly Mavis adopts the role of good grandmother, even as glimpses of the abusive monster who hurt her become more frequent through the facade of the weak, elderly woman.

But it’s only when strange things start happening to the household that Alison begins to wonder whether there isn’t a literal monster lurking inside her mother. Flies and rats evoke terror, even before people start dying. Driven to dig into her mother’s life with the free hand that Mavis’ infirmity finally gives her, Alison discovers much more about her mother than she’d expected. The insight into Mavis’ past brings an unexpected amount of sympathy, even as Alison questions the rationality of her growing belief that Mavis has been somehow possessed by a demon. Isn’t it just as likely that Mavis’ cruel behavior is a continuation of her abuse?

I thought of my girls, of what would happen to them if I wasn’t me anymore, if I became someone–something–else. I stopped the thought because it was absurd. I was playing right into my mother’s hands. For surely she was not truly a demon named Azha but my mother, playing the cleverest and cruelest trick, one final terrible game to leave me reeling while she died. I remembered what she used to say to me when I was little: You need to be a little less gullible. You can’t believe everything you hear, Alison.

Torn between reason and fear, Alison has to decide just how far she’s willing to go to heal the rift between her mother and herself, while still preventing any harm from befalling her own daughters. But Mavis isn’t quite as helpless as she looks, and is willing to use any weapon at her disposal to get what she needs.

My Darling Girl deftly explores the impact of lifelong abuse, and that liminal space between harm and healing where confusion reigns. It’s honestly one of the best arguments for keeping toxic people out of your life for good, especially when your wounds haven’t yet fully healed. Under her mother’s pernicious influence, Alison is driven to lie and hide things from the people she loves the most, even as she questions her own motivations and even sanity. The ending twist isn’t entirely unexpected, but is a chilling reminder that even the best intentions stand little chance against determined malevolence, human or otherwise.