You know what? I love the music in this show.
Dr. Pryce (Joel de la Fuente) how in the world can you pronounce all of those names? You utter a syllable and my eyes glaze over. I do like Johann this season, though. He’s got a lot more personality (and that sparkly sleep mask!) and he’s not afraid of Roman or Olivia.
Olivia (Famke Janssen) has lost her mind. She has a video of herself singing karaoke. Damn, Norman (Dougray Scott), you're just being cruel. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel bad for Olivia. She really is trying. Except she lies to him again. Marie was never going to kill her, Olivia just lost control.
Well, that change was short-lived. Sigh.
This show is killing me. Shelley (now Madeline Martin and Alexandra Foster). Pryce. I just…the two of them. Stupid Bach. Now I’m all teary.
Ah! Destiny (Tiio Horn) is having more visions!
Eh, Norman's accusing, it wasn’t really Shelley’s idea, Pryce. You just suggested she take over Prycilla's body and Shelley agreed. Sure, Shelley was delighted. Olivia was willing, too. But then… oh shit. Oh shit. Ouch. Oh, no, Shelley… Olivia, you bitch.
Re-enter Elmer Fudd (aka Mr. Beaumont, played by David Richmond-Peck). Sir, you should not have a medical kit. Ever. Whoa, drug lord, that’s just rude. HELLO, ANDREAS (Luke Camilleri)! Please, can we have this conversation soon?
What the hell is going on with Spivak (J.C. MacKenzie)? Pseudo-medical transmorphic babble. Oh, hey, Olivia. Battle for the baby. WAIT, WHY ARE YOU SCALEY?! Yeah, when you start bleeding from the eyes, Anna (Amanda Smith) you should probably put the baby down.
Hello, bloody body chipper.
SERIOUSLY, NADIA?! The monkey, too?!
Less than seven minutes left. Olivia’s back in black. Dramatic hallway confrontation with Norman.
I wish you could see my face right now.
Miranda, what are you doing, and what the hell is that?! Vampires, okay. Werewolves, sure. But what the hell?! That’s what you leave me with?!
No, you leave me with Olivia singing love songs, which is also creepy and disturbing. Okay, let’s all take a minute and attempt to process the season finale.
Season 1 left me with a lot of questions, a few of which were answered in Season 2. The weirdo religious monster hunters sort of make sense. I still think the storyline got botched in Season 1, but they made up for it in this season, except for the finale.
I honestly have no idea where this show is going. Several people are dead, including major characters. Roman is still upir, Peter might be a vargulf, Destiny is just flabbergasted, and the show has not yet been renewed for a third season.
Hey, Hemlock Grove writers, if you’re reading this, I’m going to need either a Season 3, or one hell of an explanation. I have so many questions. What happened to Miranda, and did it really effect Nadia, or is this a manifestation of her upirism? We know Roman could do the freaky compulsion thing, so are Nadia’s powers starting earlier? How was Miranda a genetic needle-in-a-haystack? What are our boys going to do now?
I’ve said it before, guys and gals, this show is weird. We’ve made it through another season, hopefully, there’s more to come. Did you enjoy it? Did you hate it? Have any revelations I may have overlooked? What are your Season 3 predictions? Until then, I’m going to…well, I don’t know what I’m going to do but it’ll probably involve nightmares about devil stingrays and heights.
Meghan Harker grew up in a small, awkwardly-named town in Georgia. She attended Brenau University, where she earned her BA in English and a minor in Graphic Design; she also attended the University of Cambridge, England, where she didn't quite master the perfect Oxbridge accent. She's an avid reader, writer, and fire spinner. She's currently working her first novel, a paranormal thriller. Visit her blog at ExquisitelyOdd.com.
Read all posts by Meghan Harker for Criminal Element.
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